Just when you thought you’d seen everything…

No, those aren’t Ninja Turtles or the villains they fight, those are the bad guys of history (minus Ghandi). Unfortunately, if you read the descriptions on the box, you wouldn’t know it. Jen Ennenbach found these in a mall in St. Louis, MO.

This is the description of the items as written on the box:

“This set of five Oddfellows includes five of the greatest revolutionaries of all time. The “tough guys” of the Oddfellow world and the heroes of righteous college students are everywhere. It includes Vladimir Lenin, Gandhi, Che Guevara, Malcolm X and Mao Zedong with brief bios and quotes. Each of this PVC figure is approximately 3” tall. The revolution may not be televised but, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring it home.”

The back of the box was hard to make out from the picture, but you can find these descriptions, and more like them on the website of the company that makes these “toys.”

Lord Crumwell’s Oddfellows Vladimir Lenin Mini Figure
“He’s quite the party animal! (The Communist party, that is!) As a symbol of the Soviet Union and the enemy of the United States for years to come, his short reign at the head of what would become one of the 20th Century’s largest superpowers elevated this man to incredible levels of fame, with cities named after him, with statues erected in his honor, and with interstellar objects holding his name. Today, he gets another milestone— to be made as a collectible 3-inch figure by the capitalists. Would he be proud? Or would he be deeply offended? Irony lives on with this nifty mini-figure!”

Lord Crumwell’s Oddfellows Mahatma Ghandi Mini Figure
“He lived for peace. And, according to one episode of Seinfeld, he had a real eye for the ladies. From a British-educated lawyer to a worldwide symbol for civil disobedience, Ghandi’s struggle inspired students of peace around the world, and continues to do so today. This larger-than-life icon of peace has been carefully crafted into a 3-inch mini-figure, which gives the world a chance to keep Ghandi around as a reminder that there are always alternatives to fighting”

Lord Crumwell’s Oddfellows Che Guevara Mini Figure
“Long live the revolution! While some people change the world and are remembered with statues, or cities named after them, Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara is known to many as “the guy on the t-shirt.” Represented here as a 3-inch figure, Che’s likeness became known to the world after a well-circulated photo of the revolutionary received wide distribution, and found its way being remixed into the world of art (and merchandise.) Bring home this Cuban leader today!”

Lord Crumwell’s Oddfellows Malcolm X Mini Figure
“Bring home an American revolutionary! (In toy form.) The Malcom X figure measures a small 3-inches tall, and features his trademark suit and glasses.”

Lord Crumwell’s Oddfellows Chairman Mao Mini Figure
“As far as revolutions go, they don’t get much bigger than the one lead by Mao. His Long March traversed some 8,000 miles and the final outcome was a unified China with a population over 1,000,000,000 people. All that earned him was the rather humble title of “Chairman”?”
(…interesting that they don’t mention the millions of people Mao murdered while “unifying” the Chinese people.)

Instead of hearing your kids daydream about Barbie and Ken driving their convertible to their mansion in Malibu, you’ll hear a brand new story line…Chairman Mao executes Ken, takes Barbie’s Corvette.

(h/t @dloesch @jenennenbach)

For more fun gift ideas for your communist revolutionary friends check out “Gifts for Commies” …yes, this exists.